I’ve talked to a lot of people over the last 24 hours, its been hard but its been good. I know i shouldn’t be hard on myself and that this sort of thing is never one person’s fault. It really isn’t either of our faults, it just is. We grew we changed, we grew apart, we no longer had the will to fight to stay together, their just wasn’t joy in it. I know i learned a lot, and i know I now have the opportunity to learn a lot more.
But that doesn’t mean that sometimes I forget these things, or get annoyed when i reminded of them. It doesn’t mean that sometimes i wouldn’t rather lash out at Megan and try to hurt her.
I know i won’t even lose Megan as a friend unless I want to (and even then I’m sure she won’t let me go without a fight), and I really don’t but I still worry myself that I’ll do something stupid when im not thinking and I’m just acting.
Sometimes its hard to have faith in yourself, I know I need to move on, I know I have to move on. But right now it hurts as often as it feels right, but I guess thats ok too.